Nothing in life can quite equate to the soul sucking energy of negative people. Do you have someone in your life that consumes you with their negativity? That when you are around them you feel deflated and not your usual self. After you spend time with them your positivity has just faded away and you feel kinda ‘Urrgghh’ and ‘ Yucky’?
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If you feel like a popped balloon after being around someone you can be sure that they’re not what you need in your life.
We often detox our bodies, but have you ever thought about detoxing from the negative people that bum you out?
People that literally suck the life force out of you are toxic, negative people, unfortunately, it’s not always possible to avoid these types of people.
They may be a family member or someone at work. So here we will go over ways to either shake them up or shake them off depending on the circumstances.
1. Identify Toxic People
First things first it is important to recognize the difference between negativity and toxicity. Because negative people may be suffering from depression, or going through tough times. Just because somebody is struggling is not the right reason to ostracize them. But we will look at some ways to help you deal with them.
A toxic person is someone who doesn’t support you emotionally, they are abusive towards you, manipulative, or jealous and belittling.
2. Don’t Expect People To Change
People don’t change, or if they do it won’t be on your schedule. To change people have to acknowledge there is a problem in the first place and then choose independently to work on that problem.
Old habits die hard, so if someone is accustomed to their own toxic behavior do not expect anything different.
I like to think that if someone has shown you their true colors, believe them. Don’t expect anything else other than that.
3. Be Firm
When you are dealing with negative people or any situation that could potentially turn uncomfortable it is important to be firm in your stance. Whatever it is you choose to do.
So if you have made a decision not to see someone again, when you communicate it, be firm, and then STICK TO IT. That’s the hard part!
4. Talk To Them In Public
If you know you need to have a difficult conversation with someone negative or toxic in your life, do it in a public space.
People are less likely to cause a scene in public, and negative people are not unlikely to get abusive or violent, so in a public space, you can always walk away whenever the going gets tough.
5. Feed Negativity With Positivity
Sometimes the answer isn’t just to run away from negative people. Cutting everyone in your life out that doesn’t live up to your positive expectations is kind of impractical.
Only you know when it is too much, until that point you can try another technique. Negative people are often hurting, so be the shining light to light up the darkness.
After all, the only thing you can truly control in this life is you. So focus on your own positivity, and shine your light so bright that nothing and no one can extinguish it.
It is also very hard to remain truly negative around someone so positive. Instead of feeding the drama, just be positive and try and pull the attention away from negativity.
6. Avoid One on One
If the person you are dealing with is a family member or at work, try to avoid one on one situations. When the attention is dispersed between more people it is less likely that you will be targeted.
Some negative people make you shrink and lose your power when you are around them, so avoid that scenario as much as possible.
7. Establish Boundaries
If you decide that you cannot have contact with this person, that is fine, that is your decision and it is your boundary to keep. So make sure you stick to it.
If you set boundaries for yourself and then you go back on them you will not only be letting yourself down but you will also feel weak. If you block someone then don’t unblock them!
If you decide to not talk to someone, don’t reach out to them. Easier said than done sometimes I know!
8. Choose Your Battles
Only you will know when it is worth going into battle with negative people. But choose wisely where and when you spend your time and energy. Or even if are you the best person to fight this particular battle?
There are some things in life worth dying for, and others not even worth crying for.
9. Avoid The Drama
Negative people need drama, they surround themselves with it and they feed off it. Don’t get sucked in. Keep your distance, it’s not your drama. ‘Energy flows where attention goes’ so keep your attention focused inwards.
10. Throw Away The Cape Sis.
Be aware of the Savior complex, the need as humans to fix or save something we see as broken or lost. It is not your responsibility, and more often than not your actions will make very little difference. People can only save themselves.
11. Block Them On EVERYTHING!
Only you can decide whether blocking someone and removing them from social media is the right thing to do. But there definitely is something in the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’. When you remove toxic people from your life, you remove their power over you.
12. Don’t Talk About Them
If you have chosen to break contact with someone, or are trying to limit their impact on your life the easiest way is not to give them air time. If you don’t talk about them, they will receive less of your focus and less of your precious energy.
13. Treat It Like A Break-Up
If you choose to end any relationship, to avoid being around a toxic person, whether it is romantic or not, treat it like a break-up. Give yourself time to mourn it, but then step away, remove yourself from the situation and let yourself heal.
14. Surround Yourself With Only Good Energy
First, start with yourself. The lighter your energy, the more likely that you will attract the same kind of energy. Look for groups of positive people, strength in numbers after all.
When you have people being happy and positive around you it is hard not to have that energy rub off on you, the same as how negative energy can stick to you.
15. Your Life Is Shaped By The People You Spend Time With
There is the saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So take a step back and think about that for a minute. Do the core five people in your life represent everything that you value?
If not, think about who you should be spending more time with. What we do is often a mirror of the people around us.
We are affected by what we see, whether we are conscious of that or not. The subliminal messaging from advertising and social media also affects us. So if you don’t like what you see, change up those settings!